Once upon at time...

In my search for quality blog material, I have been wracking my brains for anything interesting or exciting from my past. I've come up strangely blank (this is not a cue for laughter). All I've dredged from the deep, dark past has been mind-numbingly boring anecdotes, painful memories about bodily harm which has befallen my person and the evil things I have done to torture my siblings. None of which could possibly contain enough information for even a remotely intriguing blog.

On the other hand, there may be many things about my person that you all never knew, which would shatter your knowledge of who I am, rock your worlds and provide fodder for whisperings in dark corners. If this is true, then obviously I won't tell you, which means you now all will be in painful suspense for the rest of your existences. Just think... all those minutes of not knowing... hoursss... daysss.... monthsss... yearsss... and yes, even decades! Woohoo, what fun!

Or maybe I'm just feeling particularly lazy and don't want to stir myself to operate on my barred memory. This, I fear, is far more likely. I'm convinced my siblings could deluge me with many things I've done, most of which I'm sure I've blocked from memory to avoid drowning in guilt. Or maybe it's actually true and my life has honestly been too boring for words. In which case I'd really rather not make anyone cry.

And now I have once again created a blog about absolutely nothing. That must be some kind of desirable talent. Please tell me it's true.