Ta ta

Bye people, I'm off for about a week down in the deep south (Florida). My internet connection will be minimal or nonexistant. *sniff*

Here's a parting gift:

In the morning I was glorious; at noon, the same; by evening it was as if I'd never been.

Unvarnished truth

The other day I met a man. I was making my way through the Mart of the Wal type, wandering about while waiting for my daaahling sister. I'd made it through the men's section and was just about to skitter into the women's when I was suddenly accosted by a tallish, thinnish, nice looking older guy. As he approached, he said quietly, "Excuse me, ma'am," and laid his hand on my arm.

Outwardly, I kept calm, but inwardly my mind was running the 100 yard dash in about three seconds flat. I thought: "Oh no! I've heard about this. Seemingly innocent looking older people who catch you off guard by acting nice and sweet, but then when they get close, they hit you over the head and make their escape with your pocket book!" And: "Arg, no! What do I do?? No one would understand if I pushed this guy over violently and dashed away yelling and waving my arms."

I swallowed and answered: "H-hello." He looked me straight in the eyes and with a twinkle in his asked me this question. "Do you know what the right eye said to the left eye?"

What on earth is he DOING? "Er... no, I don't know."

He twinkled again and answered his question: "There's something between us and it smells!"

Heh heh... hah..

Apparently that was the end of his mission, because he smiled brightly and with a cheery "Have a nice day!" walked away, leaving me standing there looking a bit stunned.

I'm still not sure why he picked me; maybe it was my face, which was quite serious, maybe even a bit gloomy. Who knows. But one thing I do know is he accomplished his mission and I spent the rest of my time in that store grinning and chuckling to myself.

Yay for nice old men who scare you silly and then proceed to make you laugh for the next half hour. :-)

That fawn, remember him?

I feel the need to make sure something is very clear. If you recall the post a while ago about the fawn; it was all true. There was only a small bit of poetic licence taken. I was finding it difficult to know for sure or not if everyone realized the post wasn't a joke. If anyone feels betrayed, please e-mail me and I'll do my best to make sure any damage done is taken care of. :)

laconic conundrum

A cowardly smile on the face of the kingdom of fruit.

Feeling Pathetic

Waaah! Each time I read Lisa's blogs about Israel this and Israel that, and live in the same house has her; it makes me feel sad and pre-lonely. Because she's going to leave without me! And that's just wrong. Wrong, I tell you. It'll teach me to allow delays in my departure. She's packing her suitcase, and I am not. She is getting progressively nervous as the day approaches, while I sit nearby, in perfect peace (for the moment, in any case). All this will end up meaning I will have to make the pilgrimage later (at least a month later, but maybe up to three {God forbid})all by my lonesome.

One might wonder about the purpose of my delay, which I won't go into completely, just enough to say my Dr. had to write a note to the airline telling them that I was not fit to fly. He did that so I could receive a full refund from my ticket. Which is handy. Please pray that everything works out as it should, because it's a bit out of our hands.

God is good! Have a happy Sabbath.

Just a couple pet peeves...

-The incorrect use of grammar: sentences ending with prepositions. Except of course, when in the house Yoda is.

-Please, don't do this either: "I found you're rubber ducky in the wardrobe (you are a rubber ducky? I'm so sorry...)"
"For Sale, egg's, carrot's and bean's! (which leaves one wondering what Egg, Carrot and Bean were selling)"
"I think their is a sugar plum sitting were there cabbages where before (I have no idea what this is supposed to mean)."

-Misplaced or nonexistent punctuation: the classic "Eats, shoots and leaves (talking about the eating habits of pandas)"
"Above the trees rose red against the sky (is Red a person?)"
"I chose the colors pink, green and blue was her first choice (whaaa'..?)"
"Time flies when we are having fun, we are always having fun (sounds like the speaker isn't convinced it's true)."

There's so much more, but I'm starting to annoy myself dredging it all up into list form. Anyone else have some to add?

Confessions of an arachnid

They all say I am clumsy, and I suppose I oughtn't quibble because I do tend to trip over at least one of my eight feet a day. But it's so hard to keep track of them all! Maybe I should blame my mother... she only had seven. Once, on a quiet evening; full and comfortable from a large meal, she told me The Story. Seems like a human kid got ahold of her and removed one and would have finished the grisly job but for the advent of my mother's friend the Wasp. He he. She still snickers at the memory of that kid's yells. But then, once she gets thinking on the subject, she invariably commences recounting the details of Father's death, which brings a tear or two to several of her many eyes. Abruptly, however, she'll catch herself and change the subject; wary be anyone who attempts to comfort, she's been known to pin one to the floor with a small web and leave in a huff.

I can't criticize her, though, because she did a thorough job of teaching me the intricacies of human dodging. They tend to be a dangerous lot; almost always at the sight of one of our kin they'll grab a nearby stick and--knocking us flying, our legs flailing wildly--wreck havoc to the painstakingly woven work of art which is our home. Our means of bread-winning! Or might I say, capturing warm flesh and blood. I become hungry merely writing about it.

I think most of you may know me as Charlotte (as in Charlotte's Web). What you don't know is that movie was a farce. I allowed it to be shot in an attempt to shed a better light on all spiderdom. But it didn't work, not really, and I tire of living a two-faced life. Obviously, I did not die at the end of the tale, and the pig... the pig--I shudder even now--was in no way my friend. People may never know what I went through trying to accomplish something heroic for all other spiders. I doubt I will ever completely recover.

Hmm, one more comment before I end this interview. I really do not appreciate what they did to poor Shelob in LOTR. She was my distant relative... like maybe my second cousin's stepson's sister's daughter... something like that. In any case, I PROTEST!

Whew

Busy, busy, busy, BUSY.

Let me count the ways

I wanted to write a post about how much I love my friends and will miss them, but then decided it would sound too sappy, so I didn't.

I even confused myself writing this one

Three in a row. One two, two ones, one one: each covered by a set of two fives.

Oy vey!

What DO I do? In about twenty-five days, Lisa and I will board a plane bound for Israel (D.V. of course). I love Israel, but it's a quiet thing with few outward manifestations like some people I know. Which sometimes makes me wonder what on earth is wrong with me. But, of course we need all kinds, can you imagine if everyone was like... well, like those who express their fervency in more of an outward manner.

In my contemplations about my intended trip I've come to the decision that I really love my home and friends here and don't want to leave. However, I also think of what opportunities will take me by the throat (yes, this is often how I view change and unusual happenings in my life) over in Israel, and find myself wishing to dive right in. Somewhat like doing a cannonball into a frigid lake instead of slow, painful immersion. Iiieeeeeyowww. Not good. Wait a sec... yes, good. What an amazing opportunity I have! So many new people to meet, places to see, things to experience, and daily chances to work on changing my personality from retiring to wildly sanguine.

As it looks now, I'll be working with the Phanns/UHL doing grunt work. Whatever needs to be done. Transcribing, making meals, this and that. I can't seem to get a straight answer from Lisa. Probably because she doesn't know for sure either. It'll be like a treasure box, only to be opened once I arrive.

I'll get to meet the mass of friends Lis and Kate gathered while there before, and Kate is sending a pile of old pictures with me to use as clues in a treasure hunt. If I manage to get a camera in hand before I leave, I'll take those pictures with me as I wander the countryside to see if I can manage to replicate them with a new and improved photo. It sounds like a lot of fun.

Oh, did I forget to mention how long I would be over there? Seven months is the plan. I hadn't quite realized the exact length of time until one day Lis was talking to someone about our projected trip and stated the length. I was extremely surprised, to put it mildly. More like: Rachel's hair stands on end. Aaaaaaah! Yikes. :-D

There's a few thoughts. My attention span just left for other horizons, so I think I'll follow it for now. I'm sure you'll hear more on the subject in the days and months to come.