5/1/06

Words that don't exist, but really should

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to
turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow
'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvring
for one armrest in a movie theater or airplane.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he
finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort
to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want
ground pepper.

8 PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number
and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.

10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
when you're only six inches away.

8 comments:

Booker said...

that was hilarious! where did you get that stuff?

and nice layout. kind of purply tho :-)

Mrs. RF said...

Well done. High time somebody brilliant (like yourself) come up with names for all of these activities/maladies/events.

Aaron said...

Nice words!

Anonymous said...

Excellent! Very enjoyable post. I especially liked "Frust."

melrandall said...

!!!!!

Put these in a book and make some millions on your cleverness!

My favorite was "carperpetuation," because it's just so very true.

Laughter said...

Ryu is right, I got this stuff somewhere else besides my head. Too bad, I would have loved to be famous. *sigh* Oh well, maybe it's for the best, wouldn't want to leave you all in the dust.

:-P

Oh, and Ryu, thanks for the kind words. =) But I like purple, so for now, purple it is.

Ho hum... *mumbles*

♪ I could have been famous ♪♪

CKS said...

This is one of those e-mail forwards that's been all over creation and back...but it's still funny! It's been several years since I got it so it was good to get a vocab refresher. (Hmm, maybe I should mine past e-mail forwards for future posts and everyone will think I'm smart like you...)

Anonymous said...

Those are hilarious! I can identify with every one... :)