The other day I met a man. I was making my way through the Mart of the Wal type, wandering about while waiting for my daaahling sister. I'd made it through the men's section and was just about to skitter into the women's when I was suddenly accosted by a tallish, thinnish, nice looking older guy. As he approached, he said quietly, "Excuse me, ma'am," and laid his hand on my arm.
Outwardly, I kept calm, but inwardly my mind was running the 100 yard dash in about three seconds flat. I thought: "Oh no! I've heard about this. Seemingly innocent looking older people who catch you off guard by acting nice and sweet, but then when they get close, they hit you over the head and make their escape with your pocket book!" And: "Arg, no! What do I do?? No one would understand if I pushed this guy over violently and dashed away yelling and waving my arms."
I swallowed and answered: "H-hello." He looked me straight in the eyes and with a twinkle in his asked me this question. "Do you know what the right eye said to the left eye?"
What on earth is he DOING? "Er... no, I don't know."
He twinkled again and answered his question: "There's something between us and it smells!"
Heh heh... hah..
Apparently that was the end of his mission, because he smiled brightly and with a cheery "Have a nice day!" walked away, leaving me standing there looking a bit stunned.
I'm still not sure why he picked me; maybe it was my face, which was quite serious, maybe even a bit gloomy. Who knows. But one thing I do know is he accomplished his mission and I spent the rest of my time in that store grinning and chuckling to myself.
Yay for nice old men who scare you silly and then proceed to make you laugh for the next half hour. :-)
Sightseeing In Delaware
8 years ago
9 comments:
If some old strange guy ever puts his hand on my arm, I'm gonna bust his chops!
!!!!Ka-Sizzle!!!!
Wow. I think I would have freaked out too. That was a risky thing for him to have done! Good grief! ka-sizzle indeed!
I like that- the Mart of the Wal type...
I'm still standing a bit stunned. What in the world??? Perhaps he was a supernatural smile-producer. Do angels unawares tell jokes in Wal-Mart?
I was wondering that.
I don't even want to think about what I would have done! I think you can never really know what you will do until you get into that situation. Who knows I might try to witness to him. "Do you know where you're going to spend eternity?" hehe. especially if you keep your hand on my arm :)
I think you handled it quite well.
The most exciting thing that ever happens to me in stores, is that I get asked to reach things in the back of the top shelf. Maybe I'll have to try the whole looking gloomy angle.
that is the cutest thing i've ever heard
That's super funny! It might help the New England types to remeber that this happened down South. If it had happened to you up here you really might have had cause to flip out. :-)
I think that's what old people are supposed to do.
I think the chances of getting mugged in a walmart are probably the same as getting hit by lighting, maybe less.
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