Things to avoid

-a territorial rooster
-overripe bananas (on second thought, all bananas)
-a ceiling fan right over a bunk bed
-the female brain
-the piece of real estate directly behind a grouchy equine
-squdgie grapes
-touching the end of a nine volt battery to the tip of your tongue
-wrestling with a friend who is stronger than you, unless you enjoy being creamed
-riding a scooter down a rain-slicked hill
-standing on a wheeled office chair
-standing near a fire ant hill
-driving a lawn mower directly beneath a branch which only just clears the seat back
-eating plain cocoa powder
-rug burns on the face (don't ask)
-eating inhabited peaches
-tripping while mucking out a barn
-holding a sister's hand while she touches the electric fence (the current skips her and gets you)
-swimming in leech infested waters
-large angry billy goats with big horns
-forgetting to put the roll of film in the camera before use
-soggy Cheerios
-spilling hot wax on your favorite shirt
-the careless navigation of a creek using slippery stones
-placing a hot glass baking dish in cold water
-taking a nap under the hot sun while wearing sunglasses (think raccoon)
-telling Joe B. Jr. that you know how to butcher chickens
-losing the rip cord on the way down
-shooting a gun at a body of water
-joking about faux bombs in earshot of airport security
-nagging ("which is the repetition of unpalatable truths." Edith Clara Summerskill)
-writing long lists without any apparent end
-this must be the end then, apparently